Traditional Divorce
Traditional divorce is the legal separation of two married individuals. Through the court process, often judges will order the parties to work out an agreement through court-ordered mediation. Denise is a Certified Mediator for a Court-Ordered Divorce, Divorce Decree Modification, Child Custody Battle, Adoption, and other family legal issues.
Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, the parties strive to reach a fair settlement through a series of meetings between the two parties and their lawyers, and a neutral expert. The primary focus is to identify the priorities, goals, needs and interests of the parties, and help them progress towards and create a settlement that is consistent with their priorities, goals, needs, and interests. The parties make their own decisions based on their own standards. Most lawyers involved in the divorce process agree that the parties can often make better decisions about their children and their families than a judge.
Too often the traditional system of divorce unnecessarily damages already fragile relationships. Collaborative divorce is an alternative divorce process through which the parties commit themselves to resolving all issues of the divorce by negotiated agreement without resorting, or threatening to resort, to costly legal proceedings. Collaborative divorce draws together a range of professionals so that all the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce may be properly addressed.
As a collaborative divorce mediator, Denise is a neutral mediator to help both sides. Denise will help both parties:
- Understand the different paths to achieve a divorce
- Consider what divorce will mean for you and your children
- Identify and express what both parties want
- Communicate clearly about issues that matter most
- Manage your emotions and express them clearly
- Draw on your strengths
- Work with each other to develop a plan for shared parenting
- Achieve your goals in the divorce process
- Consider and achieve your goals for the future
Collaborative divorce uses informal methods, such as voluntary production of financial documents, phone conferences, negotiation, and where needed, outside professionals, such as accountants, financial planners, and family counselors.
Even though we often think of divorce as a couple's event, it is really a family event. When there are children involved -- no matter what their age -- divorce has a profound affect on them.
The collaborative process is designed to be less time consuming, less expensive, and less confrontational than traditional adversarial divorce. Parties in a collaborative divorce must commit to a peaceful approach. It can be a rough, emotional road, but you will emerge from it a more peaceful and healthy person.
Mediation to Stay Married
People often "jump the gun" when they are having marital problems. Their minds immediately go to the idea of divorce, because they see and know of no other option.
Marital mediation is a method of helping couples who are experiencing marital problems and who would prefer to stay together rather than get divorced.
Often people don't know where to turn when marriage counseling "doesn’t work." Mediation offers practical, developing solutions in relatively short time frames. This process helps develop concrete solutions to assist the couple to overcome the immediate crisis and go to the next step.
Mediation to stay married does not seek to delve deeply into the past or interpersonal, psychological issues of the couple (or its individual members). Through mediation a couple can develop concrete plans or modes of action that can be helpful to address their marital problems and move the relationship forward.
As a marital mediator, Denise can help a couple with:
- Communication
- Fighting/understanding each other's views
- Financial issues
- Debt/spending/asset protection
- Possibility of having a postnuptial agreement
What people often don’t know is that marriage skills can be taught and learned. The difference between a marriage that lasts and one that breaks down is generally the success of this learning process.
Pre-Divorce Coaching
Before you file for divorce, you may have questions about family or financial issues and may not understand the legal process. Denise can help you to:
- Focus on what matters most to you
- Get support in difficult and emotional times
- Get the information needed to move forward in your life
- Find ways to preserve relationships that mean the most to you
- Discover your strengths and put them to use
Denise can help you plan for:
- Child custody and visitation
- Child/spousal support
- Division of assets
- Division of debts
- Other issues
Post-Divorce Coaching
Often problems do not go away after a divorce is finalized. Denise can help you to come to the table and develop a plan to move forward.
Some clients choose to continue coaching for a few sessions after the legal action is complete. It is easiest for clients to schedule follow-up sessions at 6 months, 12 months, 18 months, and 2 years following the divorce. This gives clients the opportunity to air any minor or moderate issues before they escalate into huge problems.